


otacon vs cholera

by creatology



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: IT DELETED ALL MY TAGS I WAS SO FUNNY IN THEM, UGHHHH NOW YOU GUYS DONT GET TO SEE MY HILARIOUSNESS, anyway i made this fic cuz my only other fic was poorly made porn, dont read that one btw i was young and dumb and didnt know how to write. now i do, i guess sunny oriented but then again whats text to a writer, misleading title, otasune duh. but i guess if you squint but also its obvious, so its just overall embarrassing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22217974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatology/pseuds/creatology
Summary: sunny and her parental figures have one of the most important talks of her life
Relationships: Otacon/Solid Snake
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	otacon vs cholera

**Author's Note:**

> sort of a crack-fic but i thought it was funny to write so basically you have to read it. if this fic gets 2 comments maybe ill start writing more serious stuff bc lowkey i do be dying to

It started as a joke between them, honest. But now... Now, it's more of a feud.  


"Pepsi is superior," grumbles Snake from his side of the couch. He looks down at his daughter, who had pouted at the four words defining the next week of her life. "Why would it be? It's just over-glorified cola. _Anyone_ can make cola. Coke at least has p-properties to ." She stuck her tongue out half-way through her tiny speech, not really in need of listening to Snake's rebuttal; She was certain she wasn't going to change her mind about this.

  
"Are we seriously going to argue over what kind of soda we prefer?" Asked Snake. He was no longer in the mood for non-issues, that he considered getting up and hiding in some vacant room he could find. "Not with you, I'm not going to argue, I-I'll just find Uncle Hal, and ask him to settle the score."  


And so she did. A simple mistake for a simple girl.  


"Uncle Hal!" Sunny called from the living room, but not before getting up and walking towards Hal's room. "Pepsi or Coke?" She asked while opening the door, not certain he heard the full question, but also absentmindedly letting herself be teetered on the brink of not caring. If he said a soft 'hmm?' she decided she would repeat herself. And yet, she found herself in a small state of shock from Hal's answer. Not because he had a small disagreement (a quarrel, if you will) about some soda pop, but because his response was a perfect mix of outlandish nonsense, and the sense of comedic properties all the same.  


"Mm, neither, I don't drink soda." Hal replied, as monotone his voice could get. He was currently reading _the namesake_ by Jhumpa Lahiri, before putting a bookmark in it and setting it down gently on his chest. Sunny, to her dismay, had fallen right into his trap. "But--Uncle Hal--"

Hal grinned, and looked Sunny right in the eye before she could finish her sentence. "Yeah, that stuff gives you cholera."

The uproar within the household was (for lack of a better word) nuts. Snake had joined the two in the bedroom with a look full of concern (the classic 'what are you trying to teach our kid, you maniac!?' expression) and disapproval. Sunny was on top of Hal, his book threw aside, preparing to hit him. "Woah, woah! Don't shoot the messenger, guys!" Hal exclaimed. His sweater stretched as he put his arms in the air, a universally recognized sign to signify "innocence," in his case.

He was hit anyway, a light tap mind you, but after that Sunny had gotten off of him and stood next to the other man in the room. Hal sat up to face them. "Listen, it isn't my fault soda gives you cholera. Honest." He looked at Snake, who could obviously tell Hal was lying (What couldn't Snake tell about Hal?) but kept his mouth shut, recognizing this to be for some sake of comedy. He backed out of the room.

Sunny opened her mouth to speak but was still at a loss for words. Clearly, she was baffled by such a profound, intellectual statement. A few seconds pass where they just look at each other, Hal with his book on his lap, and Sunny with her hands balling into fists. "Uncle Hal... I don't think it's true."

"Well, hey, I'm no doctor."

More seconds pass, but this time it feels like an eternity.

"I'm serious, Uncle Hal, t-that doesn't sound true." Sunny states all matter-of-factly, hands now at her hips with pursed lips. "But," She continued, "I don't w-wanna look it up. Just say it isn't so."

Sunny sits down next to Hal, expecting an answer, and it takes far too long for him to say anything at all. "Sources? Dude, trust me." He says with the confidence of a man who has 7 PhDs and a grammy. His voice rolled it over smoothly with his usual hint of softness, and as if he weren't quoting some Reddit reply he saw earlier amongst his day of rest. This, of course, is the most upsetting reply Sunny has ever heard. She couldn't stand to hear any more of Hal's foolery. Her mind goes blank for three beats, and only then does it dawn on her. 

_Uncle Hal has played me for a fool!_

A girl her age, Sunny is certain, has never felt this level of distraught over something that didn't matter. She wanted to hit Hal again on behalf of herself falling for what should've been seen as an obvious joke-no, a _lie_ -the first time he had told her! While she knows he means it as a joke, all she wanted to do right now was to close the curtains on this interaction.

And so to end the conversation, Sunny gets up, goes on the other side of the room entrance, and shuts the door.


End file.
